Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Star Trek: The Non Motion Picture

Damn, I missed the date I wanted to do this post by 3 minutes. Well, pretend this post was made on Monday December 7 because that was the date I was aiming for. Why the special date? Because it was 30 years ago today, December 7, 1979, that Star Trek: The Motion Picture opened.



A date I remember well. I became a fan of Star Trek in the 70's while the show was in syndication, viewing it religiously every week day at 5pm. When the news came out that Star Trek was returning it was the end all and be all of my existence. I talked my parents into taking me to see the film on opening night even though it was playing out of town. We drove through heavy rain to sit in a packed domed theatre filled with other Trekkers anxious to see the rebirth of Star Trek. It was warm and musty with the standing room only crowd. Then the lights went down. And the music started. And we saw Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

And it...was...BORING!


The film started off majestically enough, Jerry Goldsmith's graceful, exhilarating score backing expensive visuals of the Klingon warships being destroyed by a big blue swirlly thing. Then we caught up with the Enterprise and Admiral Kirk as they regroup to face the intruder. Some excitement for a second when a transporter malfunction kills science officer Sonak. Then, like Sonak, the excitement is gone. They try to go to warp speed but hey-it's a wormhole! More temporary thrills that ends with a confusing bang. Spock arrives and they go to warp and meet the big blue thingy.


This begins the INCREDIBLY BORING PART, where they spend what seems like light years (this is where someone should tell me a light year is a measurement of distance, not time) flying into the cloud. The bridge crew (and us) watches the viewscreen as we go over the hill and through the woods to V'Ger's house we go. Then the bald navigator gets zapped, but because she was a new cast member who cared? She comes back as a robot, so what? Spock goes on a 2001 A Space Odyssey trip into V'Ger which was OK...then that part ends. Finally the voyage ends with a bunch of pretty lights and that was about it.
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It was probably just as boring to read me recap it than to see it. There was some applause at the end of the film but mostly there was weary silence.

Yet the Star Trek phenomenon could not be stopped and the film earned big box office (even though production costs that included the aborted tv series Star Trek Phase II made it one of the most expensive movies to make up to that point. And like Star Wars there were all kinds of toys that were released (I had this Enterprise that made warp engine noises that were louder or softer depending on how high you held it in the air) to make some bank.


And though it is dull, as a true fan that means I've only seen it about twenty times since 1979 (most recent time was two weeks ago). There were some cool things about ST:TMP, in addition to Goldsmith's outstanding score the USS Enterprise never looked better (or gotten as much attention thanks to a lengthy fly by of the ship while in drydock). Some of the shots of the ship are reminiscent of the flying sequences from Superman (which was released the year before). Starfleet Command gets a bigger presence including shots of San Francisco and director Robert Wise gives a futuristic 2001: A Space Odyssey feel to the movie. There is a feeling of the large vacuum of space and man's small place in it. The Shat is in full effect ("It is MY intention...to be ON THAT SHIP...following that meeting", "Would you puhleeeze...sit down", "Damn it Bones I need you. I - NEED - YOU"). Plus that cover art! Freakin love that cover art with the three multicolored faces (which I had once heard Deforest Kelley felt slighted by not being featured on it).


ST: TMP was meant to be the pilot episode to Star Trek: Phase II and so it seemed like no mistake when I sat down with friends years later and saw this remade into the debut episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (episode Encounter At Farpoint). Many of the ideas from ST: TMP were moved to that show, such as the two bridge personnel with a romantic past, a giant nemesis that turns out to be a lifeform seeking ascension, and skin tight uniforms (which is really funny in ST: TMP because even as a kid I saw there would be scenes with Stephen Collins interacting with the late Persis Khambatta where he was blatantly bulgy right there on the big screen. I know she's Deltan but I think he was method acting if you know what I mean).

In the DVD age Robert Wise was able to go back and redo ST: TMP into a directors cut with new special effects and to be honest, it is a vast improvement. Even though little of the dialogue scenes that were reinserted into the tv movie version (something the movie lacked was the actors doing anything except react to what V'Ger was doing, these scenes broadened their relationships to each other) made it into the directors cut, the film seems to move better and the revised effects particularly at the end of the film makes a huge difference. Best of all, that distorted matte painting of the Enterprise hull when they walk on the outside of the ship is gone. I remember seeing that and thinking "what the hell is that?".

The first Star Trek movie is still kind of blah even with the recut, as a fan though I can dig it. Like Spock trying to reach Kohlinar, ST: TMP is a noble attempt at bringing the high minded themes of Star Trek to the silver screen minus chaotic human emotions that falls flat because of their absence. Even with that, it is a memorable piece of my childhood and one of those "bad movies" I will go back to seeing time and again. And its proof of a mass worldwide audience allowed for Trek to continue for decades to come. It was 30 years ago that the human adventure continued for a short lived low rated tv series.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Midnight Madness - Steven Seagal Edition

Lama on the loose: Steven Seagal takes to the streets for real in A&E's reality tv series Steven Seagal: :Lawman

Today's my birthday, I have successfully survived another year. It wasn't a great year in the sense that I've been laid off, but I am still alive eatin food and have a roof over my head so that's still going for me :). A lot of sad news out there in the entertainment world which inspired this post. On the upside, one of my action movie faves is attempting a comeback.

The Last In Line - Ronnie James Dio has been diagnosed with stomach cancer, certainly sad news. He's an iconic singer and as a fan I wish him well.

Standing On Higher Ground - While reading the blog Holland's Comet I found out that Alan Parsons Project singer Eric Woolfson passed away due to cancer. The Parsons Project was a favorite of mine in high school, particularly the Vulture Culture album. His vocals on the songs "Games People Play" and "Time" (not from Vulture Culture) were extraordinary.

The Samoan Bulldozer - Former WWE wrestler Umaga died of a heart attack at age 36. He was an effective heel who had a good gimmick, a big guy who could move quickly. No more Samoan Spike :(

Taken To The Wood(s) Shed - It was not a good week to have that last name, as both the golfer Tiger and the Rolling Stone Ronnie ran into high profile domestic issues. Maybe they should swap lives on a reality tv show just to make things that much more overblown.

Overexposed Movie Of The Week - Speaking of overblown, can we go five minutes without a tv advertisement for Armored? Like Grand Theft Auto: The Movie, it looks like Matt Dillon and some other dudes steal an armored car and then kill each other for possession of it. All I get out of the repetitive commercials is steal the car, some guy locks himself inside, Matt Dillon gets mad threatens dude's family and then someone is running away from the armored car threatening to run him over. I've been playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas the past week and have found this scenario much more exciting on my outdated PS2 than watching these commercials. Someone please turn these losers in for stealing too much tv time.

And The Grammy Goes To... - The list of nominees this year don't interest me too much, just for fun I'll pick my favorite of their top selection list:

  • Record Of The Year - I'd go with Lady GaGa's "Poker Face" not that I like the song, it's just the most memorable to me. P-P-P-Poker face.

  • Album Of The Year - The only one on this list I have heard is Dave Matthews Band, I liked that album so I'll vote for that.

  • Song Of The Year - I realize there are different criteria for this versus Record Of The Year but honestly I never saw the point between the two.

  • Best New Artist - I don't know most of these names. The Ting Tings would be my choice. Now shut up and let me go.

The Awards show usually has a good song performance or two so there's that to look forward to, otherwise this year's model seems kinda dull.

Shields Up! - This week I got to go to a Star Trek exhibit and sit in the Captain's chair on a replica of the Enterprise bridge. Oh what a feeling!

Out For Justice - I watched the first two episodes of Steven Seagal: Lawman on A&E. Seagal doesn't do a whole lot of actual law enforcement compared to his fellow deputies and the phony editing to make it seem like he has a sixth sense to spot crime which is ludicrous. What's more, Seagal starts every sentence with "In my years of martial arts training, I..." to the point of annoyance. Yet like everything else Seagal touches, the hubris is backed up with mad aikido / gun fire skills (even if it is only displayed in training) and I've got to give it up to a guy that does this as a side job. His commitment to law enforcement is commendable and comes across as sincere. Though nothing can top the liquor store fight at the start of Hard To Kill. "C'muh cut mah hart oute! Come uh kut my 'eart out!!!" (The scene, one of my Seagal favorites, is below)


Friday, December 04, 2009

Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Random Notes

What do you get when you mix a sub, a pea and a stone? The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame!

I watched the AARP, um, I mean Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concert on HBO. The Hall of Fame is often a bone of contention in the blog world, probably because it presents what I would consider an elitist view of rock music. It follows a doctrine that considers R&B and hip hop as part of rock and favors punk and alternative (i.e. critics darlings) over commercially successful bands in the 70s and 80s. Only recently have groups that didn't start out as music critic favorites (Van Halen and Metallica) begin to make it in, presumably because they are running out of people they would prefer to let in before them. I'm sure if they could induct Bob Dylan every year, they would.

Anyway that's my Rock and Roll Hall of Fame rant, I'd love to see it if it weren't in Cleveland but that's life. I did see this Hall of Fame concert and found it pretty enjoyable. A nice format where a band would anchor a set that includes its own material and then back various stars on songs as well. The backing bands included Crosby Stills and Nash, Paul Simon, Metallica, U2, Bruce Springsteen and I feel like I left someone out but can't recall. Oh yeah, Stevie Wonder. I wrote down my impressions of the concert while I watched it and in honor of Rolling Stone magazine who seems to have put on this shindig I'm calling it Random Notes:
  • Hey it's Jerry Lee Lewis at the start, I saw him play at a concert a few years ago he still can put on a show.

  • So that's what Steven Stills looks like sober. I saw CSN&Y play at the same concert as Jerry Lee Lewis, Stills was so wasted he barely performed and spent most of the set wandering the back of the stage that evening. Here he's blasting through his vocals and reeling off burning guitar solos. I feel cheated.

  • Jackson Browne, one of my favorite artists singing one of my favorite songs "The Pretender"! With Nash and Crosby on background vox!! Holy crap, Browne has had plastic surgery and his face doesn't move!!! It's like Phantom of the Opera, his eyes and mouth moves but nothin else!!!!

  • Stevie Wonder pays tribute to Michael Jackson by performing "The Way You Make Me Feel", is it a crime that I like Wonder's version better than the original?

  • Sting, give Jackson Browne his raggedy beard back he needs it more.

  • Stevie Wonder is smokin' through his set, everyone brought their "A" game to this show.

  • Jeff Beck shaves his arm pits? Is this for more aerodynamic guitar solos?

  • The Spectre of Spector is all over this Brill Building montage as I don't remember him getting named in this segment.

  • Dion gives Paul Simon a fist bump. You know a trend is about to die when you see the elderly adopt it. Give them both Boost mobile phones while they're at it.

  • During Simon & Garfunkel 's set, my wife reminds me of that Flight of the Conchords episode where one of the Conchords is made over by a woman into the image of an Art Garfunkel sex slave. Too funny!

  • Oh cool, "The Boxer". Freakin love that song.

  • Aretha Franklin slays 'em in Madison Square Garden.

  • Sisters are doin' it for themselves again, Annie Lennox joins Franklin for "Chain of Fools"

  • Metallica! Finally some actual rock music in this show. Wow, is James Hetfield losing his hair? Never thought I would see that happen to a guy that used to look like the Lion King. "For Whom The Bell Tolls" sounding good. The audience reaction reminds me of when I saw Metallica open for The Rolling Stones, not a lot of movement out there just polite applause.

  • Metallica backs both Lou Reed and Ozzy. Guess with their legal battles there was no way Ozzy would show up with the rest of Sabbath?

  • I wonder if Ozzy saw Dave Matthews make fun of him on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago?

  • Ray Davies jumps a lot through "All Day And All Of The Night" with those awesome crazy split leg poses that you used to see in mid 60's photographs like he's Austin Powers. Groovy!

  • "Enter Sandman". F*ck yeah!!

  • U2 follows Metallica? I've got "Vertigo".

  • U2, Springsteen and Patti Smith charge through "Because The Night" with spectacular results.

  • I like how Bono worked in a bit of Springsteen's "The Promised Land" at the end of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

  • Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas steals the show from Jagger on "Gimmie Shelter". Though they can't top the fiery rendition Keith Urban and Alicia Keys gave at Live Earth.

  • It's a "Beautiful Day"!

  • For some reason Jeff Beck's bass player looks like Chelsea Clinton or Fiona Apple to me.

  • Buddy Guy and Jeff Beck deliver some serious six string sting.

  • Jeff Beck plays a very cool instrumental version of "A Day In The Life"

  • Sam of Sam and Dave jams with Bruce and the E Street Band, PBS is going to have a field day when they get their hands on this. Pledge now!

  • I ain't no For-chew-nate-uh. That's John Fogerty speak for "Fortunate".

  • Tom Morello kickin' ass with Springsteen on "The Ghost Of Tom Joad".

  • Wow, it's "Jungleland". I did not see that coming, generous of The Boss to play a song that highlights his band :)

  • Billy Joel's limping, that's a bummer. "New York State Of Mind" trading vocals with Springsteen sounds great and Joel even brought sax man Mark Rivera with him. Joel sounds killer on "Born To Run" too.

  • The big finish! All hands on deck.

All in all, this was a good show. Each performer gave 110% in their performance (but wait, it's mathematically impossible to give more than 100%). If you're a fan of rock and roll or old school R&B, its worth seeing.