A New Kind Of Truth

Bought the new Van Halen disc this week, been impressed with it and like it a lot. A lot of the classic VH sound filled with Roth's hyper extroverted personality and Eddie Van Halen's fastball guitar licks. Like most Roth era VH albums the music pulls a lot from songs they wrote before they had a recording contract, this time including my favorite previously unreleased song "Let's Get Rockin" (now redone as "Outta Space"). As wrong as it is that Michael Anthony is no longer invited to the Van Halen party, Wolfgang Van Halen does a good job on the bass. It cracks me up how Wolfgang gets more room to play in than Anthony ever did, but hey it pays to be the son of the boss. Anyway, the new disc A Different Kind Of Truth is an entertaining album and my favorite song so far is the "Ice Cream Man" styled "Stay Frosty".

Tramp Stamp

So Van Halen has released their first new song since...I can't remember exactly when that Sammy Hagar took place but it was a long time ago. It is definitely their first release with Diamond Dave since 1996. Tough to listen to this track objectively given this info. My kneejerk impulse is to declare it the best thing ever with exclamation points!!!

At the same time, I'm a little cool on the new song "Tattoo". It has that big slow groove VH loved to do in the Sammy Hagar days which takes time to grow on me. The song hook ("Tattoo Tattoo" refrained in an offhand way) isn't an instant grab. But to be fair, it took time for "And The Cradle Will Rock" to grow on me and in a roundabout way "Tattoo" reminds me of that track. Great to hear EVH's solo though. Too soon to tell if I'll love this (or the new VH album) yet I am so totally psyched to hear more.

On A L.S.D. Trip

1998 or the year that Van Halen forgot, with Gary Cherone.

After watching Foreigner perform with current front man Kelly Hansen, my mind became fascinated with the pattern of rotating lead singers in established bands. Rock and roll band break ups and make ups are nothing new, it happens pretty much daily and has for decades. Bass players in particular come and go, some bands don't even carry a full time member on bass after a while (lookin' at you, Rolling Stones!). As I said a week ago, The Eagles jettisoned Don Felder pretty much saying he could stay in his own hotel California without an official replacement. In the late 80s, both Journey and Survivor gave their rhythm sections a rest leaving the door open for Randy Jackson to do some session work worth bragging about on American Idol. And with these changes the fans still come out to see their favorite bands, many not even aware of who is in any given band or when. Yet there is one position that fans do notice when there is a switch. You know what it is. Lead Singer.

In popular music including rock, the singer is often the emotional tie the audience has to the music. The singer is the narrator of the story, the possessor of a talent all want to have, the focal point of attention, the star of the show. According to those musicians that work with lead singers, complaints often start filing in after some success. They get tired of alleged prima donna attitudes, excessive creative or marketing control or they just plain don't like the guy (usually it's a guy) after a while. During one of the times Sammy Hagar was fired/quit Van Halen, Eddie Van Halen gave a name to this: L.S.D. = Lead Singer Disease. Now I don't know if EVH actually made this term up (or if Sammy Hagar really deserved such a slam, I lean towards no) but he's the person I remember hearing it from. So that will be the name of these posts, L.S.D. I know, what a trip. Ba dump dump.

So I thought it would be fun to write some posts about times when a lead singer from an established band leaves/gets fired and replaced with someone else. Then track what happens afterwards (usually something dismal until the original singer comes back). To kick things off, I'm going to cover the fracas that brought L.S.D. to my radar.

Sammy Hagar / David Lee Roth gets fired / quits and is replaced with Gary Cherone

Like they say in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, we're going way back now. Somewhere about 1995 or 1996. The story the way I recall it was Van Halen had finished touring in support of Balance aka the one where Eddie Van Halen sobers up and shaves a lot of his hair off. The band was called in to do music for the movie Twister and had a big blow out over Hagar's hackneyed song lyrics. Something about being told not to write words about hurricanes (because The Scorpions have that market cornered) and doing so anyway. Plus, Hagar was a new daddy at home and wanted some time off. Eddie Van Halen wanted to do some new tracks for a greatest hits comp, since Hagar was not available he roped in Diamond Dave. This was like a guy cheating on his second wife with his first wife, so Hagar was understandibly pissed. Saint Sammy and Ed talked with Rashomon flair - Sammy said he was fired while Ed said he quit - end result being no more Sam. At the same time, EVH had talked to other singers about fronting VH. People I've heard about include Mitch Malloy and Sass Jordan (EVH seems fascinated with having a female front woman, I've read he wanted Patty Smyth to join after Roth left the first time. As much as I like Smyth, just can't picture the warrior singing "Jump"). After an MTV appearance of VH with Roth, Diamond Dave put one foot out the door by arguing with EVH backstage. So DLR was kicked to the curb and the search was on for a new lead singer again. And after searching the guy they turned up was...Gary Cherone?

Gary Cherone of the Boston based band Extreme was the guy chosen to lead Van Halen to a new era. Like many, I was less than thrilled by this. One personal factor, I can't stand Extreme. Even with my love of lame rock bands, Extreme somehow dipped so low on my lame meter that even I couldn't like them. I remember watching tv when I saw the video for "Kid Ego" come on, I thought to myself "Wow, this band really sucks." They seemed like a generic copy of a generic copy. Then they got some character, but of the wussy kind. "More Than Words" took power balladry to an all time low with a tune filled with so much sap that Sting thought rain forests were destroyed in its creation (reaching too far for a metaphor? Fuck yeah, I'm buzzed on beer!). Even when they tried to rock, it would be ham handed crud like "Rest In Peace" that got played on MTV ad nauseum.

So yeah, I was less than juiced about Cherone as it was. Now he was put in the almost no win situation of replacing both Sammy Hagar and Diamond Dave as lead singer of Van Halen. To make matters worse, Eddie Van Halen told Cherone to sing like Bon Scott which made him sound like a bad imitation of...Sammy Hagar. It seemed like a long way to go for the band to essentially get a Sammy Hagar that does what he's told. Well, when I say band I mean Eddie and Alex Van Halen since Michael Anthony started getting iced out, reportedly playing bass on like only half the disc. One of Extreme's hallmarks was adaptability, they could mix a number of genres into their sound and apparently that's what the Van Halens wanted.

Because this was Van Halen mach 3, where Eddie's creativity would run unhindered by any egotistical lime light stealin' lead singer. And if Eddie Van Halen was an auteur on par with say Trent Reznor or Prince then Van Halen III was to be a work of genius. And some positive buzz started with people talkin' 'bout the song "That's Why I Love You". EVH was going to work in some of those influences that he appreciated but hadn't used like Peter Gabriel. And he was going to do it with TV theme king Mike Post as producer. Yes indeedy, it was Eddie Van Halen's way or the highway.

Van Halen III was released in 1998 to much fanfare. And it was everything that any prior Van Halen album wasn't. It was musically adventurous with Gabriel like rhythms ("Once"), political commentary ("Ballot Or The Bullet") and Roger Waters like croaking ("How Many Say I" with EVH on lead vox). While these excursions added to Van Halen's repitoire, they were merely functional representations of things other people did better. And try as they might, the band was only able to deliver decent hard rockers like "Without You" or "One I Want". No "Panama" here. Not even a "Poundcake". No fun aloud. The production sounded flat and evenly mixed, like a TV theme song. And the buzz song "That's Why I Love You" was dropped in favor of the "More Than Words"-ish "Josephina".

I tried for months to like this album, I really did. Eddie Van Halen sounded inspired, can't really fault any of the guitars here. As a whole, it just sucked too much. Too much for even a super fan like me to take. I wasn't alone, Van Halen III stopped the band's career cold. Even a tie in with the film Lethal Weapon 4 couldn't raise much interest in one of the disc's better cuts (the hard rock stomper "Fire In The Hole").

The failure of Van Halen III on a creative and commercial level effectively ended the band's recording career. To this day, Van Halen has not recorded a CD of new material - just greatest hits comps and reunion tours. Gary Cherone quietly departed from the group and I felt a little bad for him. I felt like he didn't get to be himself and have an opportunity to show if he could really do the job.

No Foolin' Around

Today is one of the best holidays known to man, April Fools Day. I tried to think of something funny to say or a vid clip that could fit, but came up empty. So here's an off the cuff playlist of songs with the word "Fool" in it. As Scotty once said, "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Just for the hell of it, I'll call this feature the Playlist Of Pooh.

1. Def Leppard - Foolin'


2. Chris Rea - Fool (If You Think its Over)


3. The Beatles - Fool On The Hill


4. Foreigner - A Fool For You Anyway


5. Van Halen - Fools


6. Tesla - Mama's Fool


7. Elvin Bishop - Fooled Around And Fell in Love


8. Michael Bolton - Fools Game


9. The Cardigans - Lovefool


10. The Doobie Brothers - What A Fool Believes


11. Soul Asylum - April Fool


12. Styx - Fooling Yourself

And of course...

If anyone out there in cyberspace can remember other songs with the word "Fool" in it, feel free to let me know. I've had a beer and this is all I can think of.

Took a walk with my wife and mentioned this post, she listed a bunch of real obvious ones that I didn't remember.

1. Whitesnake - Fool For Your Loving
2. Robert Plant - Ship Of Fools
3. Foghat - Fool For the City
4. Steve Perry - Foolish Heart

Yep, I missed some of my favorites including "The Voice". Doh!

Cheap Shots

One trend I liked in the early 90's was Beavis and Butthead, the crudely animated teenage metalheads who passed judgement on whatever music videos played. A nostalgic throwback to when MTV played actual music videos instead of junk like I Wanna Be In A Pretend Band or My Ridiculously Expensive Birthday whatever those shows are called. Yes, there was a time when MTV would play music videos and people would sit and watch it, Beavis and Butthead captured that moment. They also captured making sarcastic or excited remarks at the tv when videos appeared on screen that got a reaction.

It was like someone had put on tv the stuff we did in real life. When I met some new friends around '83 one of the first things they included me in was miming the Def Leppard "Photograph" video with them towards their living room mirror when the clip came on (I know, dorky, just keepin' it real). Or arguing with others as to whether or not Duran Duran's "The Reflex" or Hall & Oates "Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid" were filmed in the Bay Area. Watching my friend get excited because Van Halen's "Dreams" came on and hurt himself attempting to tackle another guy as a result (teenage adrenalin = hard hittin' football!) was pretty funny. Even funnier, after he missed the tackle and slammed into his dresser his glasses came off and we had to listen to him complain like it was our fault he bent his glasses.

Beavis and Butthead kicked off that whole "bad animation" thing that South Park followed up on, because then like now we were in a recession and could relate to doing things cheaply. The more low budget the better in the early 90's, grunge, gangsta rap, indie movies, animation that looked like colorforms, it spoke to a generation that saw the Big 80's economy crash and burn. B&B also launched the career of Mike Judge (Office Space, King Of The Hill) who has become an enduring talent. But the real beauty of B&B was that it was fodder for cheap shot artists like me :)

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Oh, below is a clip of the Beavis and Butthead episode that includes T'Pau's "Heart And Soul" which is how this whole post got started. Huh huh, huh huh...I started my "post". Yeah, yeah...I'm showing my "post" on my "log". Huh huh, my log stinks...

Hot Fun In The Summertime

"Is it hot in here, or is it just Summer?" My favorite line from The Big Bang Theory delivered by a drunk guy to the person above, Summer Glau.

"Summer Summer Summer, it's like a merry go round" said Ric Ocasek 25 years ago and you know he was right. The weather for the first half of Summer was on the cool to moderate side here in Nor. Cal., it took the second half to bring in the heat. And now that it actually gets warm to hot on a daily basis, the season is almost over. So before it all ends we're gonna squeeze in some Summer fun (like going to an Oakland A's game today) and I'm gonna - you guessed it - name my Top 10 favorite Summer songs.

10. Asia "Summer (Can't Last Too Long)" (1990)

From the Steve Howe-less era of the band released on the sort-of-greatest hits-sort-of-new songs Then & Now album. An Asia anthem about Summer? Can't put that down. I was living in Sacramento at the time, where the Summer heat would hit 100 plus degrees. When you walk out of the door of an air conditioned room that heat would hit you in the face like a frying pan. Now that we're in August, Summer really can't last too long now. Just the way John Wetton planned it.

9. Sheryl Crow "Soak Up The Sun" (2002)

Crow's last big hit, a sunny playful blast of modern pop rock. Pleasant feel good harmony driven tune, perfect for enjoying the Summer day indoors or outdoors.

8. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John "Summer Nights" (1978)

In '78 I was hooked on Grease, mainly because I liked the songs and choreography which I suppose is the reason anyone would like a musical in the first place. While most of the raunch went over my head at the time, I could tell there was a difference between Danny Zuko's version of events and Sandra Dee's. And hey, it was '78 and I wanted to be slick and cool T Bird like John Travolta livin' that picturesque Summer romance with Olivia Newton-John. Below is a pretty amusing video of the song remade with Lego people. Tell me more, tell me more...

7. B - 52's "Summer Of Love" (1983)

Summer is the season known for fun, a chance to break out from your routine existence and try new things (or is that Spring? No, I'm pretty sure it's Summer). It's hard to top The B 52's for bright kitchy fun with a touch of postmodern cool. Danceable, kooky and silly yet not without intelligence.

6. Rush "Summertime Blues" (2005)

Covered probably a billion times since Eddie Cochran made it a hit in the 50's, "Summertime Blues" is a staple of anyone's Summer time playlist. While certainly drawing inspiration from the Blue Cheer version, Prog rockers Rush gang tackled the song a few years ago with a vengeance and made it their own. It's great to hear these famously ultra precise musicians cut loose with abandon, kicking so much ass that their version was a theme song to one of the WWE PPV's that year.

5. Don Henley "The Boys Of Summer" (1984)

In the 80's there was slavish nostalgia for the 60's and who better to bring it to you than a 70's rock star? Henley's ode to fleeting youth set to the backdrop of sun kissed skin and Grateful Dead bumper stickers struck a chord that still resonates today.

4. Weezer "Island In The Sun" (2001)

A relaxing loping beat and nicely strummed guitars calls to mind light blue skies, sandy beaches, clear water lapping on the shore - basically like those beer commercials with the man and woman sitting in their chairs throwing their cell phones into the Ocean when it rings. Pure bliss even with the slightly grungy guitars in the verse.

3. Bananarama "Cruel Summer" (1983)

Sometimes the Summer isn't so nice, like say you move from New York to Reseda thinking it's going to be so cool to go to school in L.A. only to find a bunch of karate kicking rich kid bullies chasing you wherever you go. When you have a Summer like that, you need a trio of nice British Ladies to sing your tale of woe. Focus power Daniel-san!

2. Seals & Crofts "Summer Breeze" (1972)

While sitting in the hot baseball park today, I thought of this song because the breeze blowing in was the only thing cooling us off. It's funny, in the 70's I didn't like this song because something about the sound of it bothered me. A couple of years ago this showed up in a TV commercial with a remixed back beat and I've been in love with it ever since. Adding to it's stock, Tommy Shaw (Styx) and Jack Blades (Night Ranger) teamed up last year and released a cover that does the original justice. Now I remember what bothered me, the thought of jasmine in my mind sounded painful!

1. Van Halen "Summer Nights" (1986)

The Summer of '86 was my first Summer after high school so of course it stands out in my memory. It was great to have a killer theme song to my first Summer of freedom. My strongest memory was just before graduating high school, my friends and I pulled an all nighter finishing off our Accounting final hours before getting on a bus to go to Grad Night at Disneyland. At around 3am, after playing the 5150 tape repeatedly, we all became fixated on the grunt Sammy Hagar does after the opening guitar lick. We sat there and played it, then rewind it, then played it again probably about 20 times over. Da Da Da Duh Na, Da Da Da Duh Na...Uh! The song epitomizes for me what Summer nights back then meant, hanging out with friends and warm nights.

So many songs came close to making this list, Bryan Adams "Summer of '69", Survivor's "Summer Nights" and Jerry Mungo's "In The Summertime" to name a few. It was tough to choose just ten (so obviously I'm cheating here) but that's my Top 10. And hey, if you have any favorite Summer songs you would like to give a shout out to feel free to. Have a great rest of the Summer!

7 - 6 - 5

No more runaround, Van Halen hits the Top 5 of my list

Racing to the end of my 100 Favorite CD countdown, after this set I start going track by track on these incredible albums. Before we get there, we have to get through numbers 7, 6 and 5.

7. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Gold & Platinum (1979)

Although we had the Skynyrd's Innards single CD hits set, it was the double album Gold & Platinum that really gave me something to dig in to. There are songs that are a given on a Skynyrd set, "Freebird", "Sweet Home Alabama", "Gimmie Three Steps" and "That Smell" all make appear here. And though it lacks some killer tunes like "Call Me The Breeze", Gold & Platinum uses it's length to show more variety from their catalog. The rambunctious "I Know A Little", the attitude driven "Down South Jukin", the stately "Simple Man" and the fiery "Comin' Home" show the breadth and range of this fantastic band. Eventually I had to have more Skynyrd and would get the box set, before that this set was the best rounded collection of their music I had heard.

6. Tom Petty - Greatest Hits (1993)

I didn't get into Tom Petty's music until I was in my 20s, when I copied his Greatest Hits off a friend onto a cassette tape (remember those?). The simplicity and directness of approach balanced with economical musicianship and brilliant songwriting finally clicked with me after ignoring his stuff for over a decade. Starting with the man on the street feel to "Breakdown" and working to the big hits era of "Don't Do Me Like That" or "Even The Losers" and eventually landing in his solo record Jeff Lynne produced phase of "Free Fallin". Years after it's release, the song "Listen To Her Heart" became a personal favorite of mine. Maybe it's that part about not winning her over with your money and your cocaine. Through it all, sharply drawn observations matched with indelible melodies made the 90's more bearable for someone like me who wanted rock that didn't have rap in it. It was like water to a man in the desert.

5. Van Halen - For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (1991)

I'm not superstitious for the most part, but one superstition I do have is this album. It is my lucky album. It's a great motivator, listening to this album gets me fired up to tackle the bigger challenges in life. Musically, it's the, ahem, best of both worlds as it features Sammy Hagar on vocals yet has a Classic VH sound to the music (could be because Ted Templeman produced for the first time since the DLR era). That could be because cuts like "Top Of The World" and "Runaround" owe a debt to DLR era winners "Dance The Night Away" and "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love". The lack of a power ballad is a huge plus, VH does not do power ballads well, the closest they get is the piano driven "Right Now". And "Poundcake" was all over the radio with its burgeoning groove. Air guitar fanatics had something to jam to on high flying "The Dream Is Over". The short and sweet acoustic guitar solo "316" was stretched out live to contain all his great solos. While some of the songs on this disc were just passable (Let's not call 1-900 SPANKED), it's my favorite in style and for personal reasons. My lucky tape / CD!

Mr Mike's AOR Project 1988

It was a concert I had wished I had gone to.

It's fitting after covering a whole lotta Zep that 1988 is the next year in my AOR Project because that was the year everyone wanted to be Zep. In the wake of Whitesnake's success a slew of bands took to the Zeppelin sound and interest renewed in the original members. On top of that Hair Metal went into overdrive. The Monsters of Rock tour was somewhere around this time led by the Hagar driven Van Halen. Everything was great in '88!

Disc 1:

Fate - Love On The Rox

When bands split up, it usually doesn't seem clean. So when Mercyful Fate divided and one half became Fate, well that was just pure genius.

Robert Plant - Heaven Knows

I debated with myself to include this or "Tall Cool One". Tough call to make, I went with the slower tempo number.

Cheap Trick - The Flame

Not just a great power ballad, one that seems to get a pass from people critical of this genre. Great acoustic guitar sound on this track.
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Kingdom Come - Get It On

In one of the best marketing moves of the day, the band sent this record to radio stations without a mention of who it was. Rumors spread that this was Led Zeppelin's new song (because it sounded very "Kashmir") and it got all over the airwaves.

Bonham - Wait For You

If anyone who was not a former member of Led Zep had a right to tackle that sound, it was Jason Bonham. The prodigal son gets his Physical Graffiti on with this ripping cut.

Toto - Pamela

Not to be outdone, Toto also sounded like Led Zep...no, not really, Toto came off as very Toto with a jazzy retread of "Rosanna".

3 - Talkin' 'Bout

To this day I'm shocked they didn't force Robert Berry to legally change his name to something like Like so they could remain ELP. Emerson, Like and Palmer has a nice ring to it.

Mr. Big - Addicted To That Rush

A few years before they invented the campfire clap power ballad, the mini supergroup made up from former members of Eric Martin Band, David Lee Roth and Racer X fired up the fret work to a crazy fast beat.

Hurricane - I'm On To You

Current Foreigner frontman Kelly Hansen spent the 80's rocking like a, um Hurricane.

Shy - Break Down The Walls

I'm not even gonna front yo, I've got to admit I learned about this group through Melodicrock and had not heard of this group at the time. Not bad stuff.

Aerosmith - Angels

Power ballads are all about the cheese baby, and it's hard to top the fondue fountain that is "Angel".

Saraya - Love Has Taken It's Toll

One of my favorite lost bands, this song has so many memories of drunken games at the pool halls for me. It sucks this album is out of print, Sandi Saraya rocks!

Alice Cooper - Poison

In 1988 none could resist the power of Desmond Child and he revived the 70's Icon with this comeback jam.

Def Leppard - Pour Some Sugar On Me

The Lep seemed all washed up when the 5th single dropped a year after the album release. One of the first mainstream meldings of rap and metal after "Walk This Way", it became a legend of 80's rock.

Pat Benatar - All Fired Up

A few years before her unfortunate foray into Blues, Benatar came up with one more Arena Rock winner before heading off to the oldies circuit.

Guns N Roses - Sweet Child O Mine

The reason everyone knows this band was because of this uncharacteristically sweet midtempo rocker. A great song, though if I have to hear the story of how Slash came up with the opening riff again I'll go into convulsions.

Disc 2:

Glass Tiger - I'm Still Searching

The Tiger made a play for a lasting career but was caught looking on a fastball. How's that for mixed metaphors!

Poison - Every Rose Has It's Thorn

I'd put down Bret Michaels but the man has a dream life: He slaps on his weave and plays generic music to screaming fans and has VH1 act as his personal pimp every few months. Lame or not, Michaels did come up with one of the best known poems in the late 20th century. Every rose has its thorn, just like every day has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.

Bon Jovi - Bad Medicine

An awesome, awesome hair band arena rock jam with a big ass chorus and rapidfire verses.

Van Halen - When It's Love

Things looked a little wussy in Van Halen land for a second with this lenghty ballad. "Unchained" this is not.

Queensryche - I Don't Believe In Love

Part of the classic Operation: Mindcrime album, the Seattle based unit brought the heat on this dramatic rocker.

Britny Fox - Girlschool

C'mon, it's Britny Fox! What else can I say?

Eddie Money - Walk On Water

Eddie was on the money with this amazing slice of AOR written by Sammy Hagar's ex-keyboardist Jesse Harms. I remember getting out of the hospital and buying the tape. And finding out this was the only good song on the whole freakin' tape.

Jimmy Page - Wasting My Time

Unable to get Robert Plant to stick around (sounds familiar), Page cut a fine solo album called Outrider that featured this hard rockin' cut.

Scorpions - Rhythm Of Love

I find it weird how sometimes a certain song title will become popular. Case in point, "Rhythm of Love" was released by Yes in '87 and the Scorps in '88 and the two songs have nothing to do with each other at all.

Europe - Superstitious

Hey, it turned out guitarist John Norum was the most important member of this group after all. When Norum left this was the last hit the group could generate.

Def Leppard - Love Bites

One of the most interesting power ballads in terms of lyrics ("Love Bites / Love Bleeds / It's what I need"). Probably goes over well with that Twilight crowd. Say it. Vampire. Ooh...

Kix - Don't Close Your Eyes

You know it's 1988 when it's another song, another power ballad.

White Lion - Wait

Maybe the best name in Hair Metal, Mike Tramp, led his group through the jungle with this winning melody.

Paul Dean - Sword and Stone

Loverboy guitarist Paul Dean cut a Paul Stanley song for his solo album with strong results.

AC / DC - Heatseeker

It's Ac/Dc. You either get it or you don't.

Bad Company - No Smoke Without A Fire

The radio station in Sacramento loved this song, I heard it a couple times a day for months. This chorus is forever jammed in my brain.

Sheriff - When I'm With You

In a strange turn of events, a failed band from 1983 got their song played on the radio by a DJ who liked this song in 1988 - years after the band had split up. Later the singer and guitarist would team up with former members of Heart to make Alias.
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And that was 1988. Just one more year to go!

Mr. Mike AOR Project 1986

For a second, Samantha Fox was all over the Arena Rock sound thanks to her impressive talent. No, no, just kidding. It really was all about her looks.

Okay, we're up to 1986. Arena Rock's general popularity was fading. The sound of melodic rock had been co-opted to the point that it didn't carry as much power. Mainstream pop / rock rose at this time as artists who previously shied away from hard guitars and bracing choruses came up with a softer, more accessible version for the mass public. With dwindling interest in real Arena Rock, many of the bands fell back on Adult Contemporary to stay alive. Emphasizing power ballads as their single releases to make an impact on radio.


At the same time, MTV who had embraced Heavy Metal in '84 moved away from it in '85 following parental backlash. By '86 the softer version of Arena Rock was MTV's main rock sound. It looked like Arena Rock was going to go out to pasture until a guy named Jon found the magic formula of outside songwriters, marketable looks and hairspray to take Arena Rock to the next level: Hair Bands!


Disc 1:


Mr. Mister - Kyrie


My wife has been learning Japanese and there is a word in that language that sounds like "Kyrie" that means clean or pretty. I got to watch Mr. Mister perform this song at Grad Night in DisneyLand back in '86, you haven't lived until you've seen that.


Van Halen - Why Can't This Be Love


The first time I heard this, I was at a party when someone played the 45. An awesome song, I was blown away by how good Sammy Hagar sounded with VH. I ran out and bought the 45 the next day.


Giuffria - I Must Be Dreaming


At the time it seemed like a big mistake for Giuffria to not lead off with a big ballad for a single like their first album. Considering how this record stiffed in the marketplace, maybe I was right. It's still a great song though.


Daryl Hall - Dreamtime


Weird that a team up with Eurythmics' Dave Stewart would generate a pop rocker like this one. With no wild Oates to sow, Hall cranked up the guitars and psychedelia for his biggest solo hit.


Starship - Sara


It's not Stevie Wonder on the harmonica, it's a synthesizer pretending to be him that leads off this #1 hit. A pleasant wistful pop ballad given a big boost by Risky Business' Rebecca De Mornay starring in the video. A video that says Sara was a slutty drunk, but I still luv u baby!


Stryper - Honestly


Christian Rock presents its ultimate power ballad to the man upstairs, the yellow and black attack get their biggest chart hit as a reward.


Boston - Amanda


The shocker of '86, I was a huge fan of the first two Boston records and assumed the group would never record again (the previous album had been released in 1978). I played this sucker to death when I bought it.


Haywire - Standin' in Line


This band I found out about just this year, apparently they never made it out of Canada. Good clean Arena Rock, they don't make 'em like this anymore.


Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight


The Money Man figured out he needed a comeback...again...so he tightened up his sound and brought in Ronnie Spector for a cameo. Wasn't this tune used in a burger commercial? It's a hunger....A HUNGEERRR!!!


Don Johnson - Heartbeat


You know, if Sonny Crockett sang to his perps instead of shot them he might have killed more criminals.


Stan Bush - You've Got The Touch


Not a big hit at the time, this jam has come to represent the cheesy excess of the Arena Rock sound. Next time you want some motivation, play this song loudly.


Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone


Let's be honest, the only thing dangerous about Kenny Loggins is how much nose hair gets on his finely manicured 'stache. Still couldn't stop the man from howling about riding into the Danger Zone with thunderous drum fills. Tom Cruise wouldn't have it any other way.


Mike and the Mechanics - All I Need Is A Miracle


Mike Rutherford's busmans holiday was shaping up to be a rival to his day job with a second Top 10 hit. This glossy rockers with a positive 'tude would make into the soundtrack of many a movie afterwards.


Robert Palmer - Addicted To Love


After the success of the Power Station, Palmer did some math. Having hits with three other guys means less money than having hits by yourself. So he dumped the Duranites and did the Power Station sound all by himself. And came up with a classic 80's smash backed by zombie beauty queens.


John Parr - St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion)


The title song to my favorite Brat Pack movie. Oogata Boogata Boogata Ah Ha Ha!


Ozzy Osbourne - A Shot In The Dark


I used to think of this as Ozzy's sell out to the mainstream, but now the Prince of Darkness has a freakin' variety show.


Kansas - All I Wanted


No more violins, the wayward sons carried on to the AC charts with this shiny ballad.


Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name


The saviors of Arena Rock! Bon Jovi took the cheesy elements of the core sound and multiplied them by 100. Within a few months of this hit, all bands had teased hair and feel good anthems to pump your fist to. The Hair Metal era began it's run on the Pop audience.


Disc 2:


Emerson Lake and Powell - Touch and Go


What would have happened if Cozy Powell wasn't brought in to replace Carl Palmer? If they hired Mick Fleetwood they would have been ELF. If they got Russ Kunkel it would be ELK. Any other letter combination would have sucked even harder. It had to be Powell. Had to be.


ZZ Top - Sleeping Bag


This song kicks so much as that my head would explode if I even thought I knew what it was talking about. So you have a sleeping bag, so what?


The Outfield - Your Love


The British trio found a way to combine the sharpness of The Police with the anthemic ways of Arena Rock. Their style managed to transcend categories, scoring with Pop fans, Rock fans and College Rock. I saw them perform in the summer of '86, they performed a twelve minute sing a long version of "Your Love" that was excruciating to listen to. Put me off the song for a year.


Triumph - Somebody's Out There


Like letting air out of a tire, the Canadian power trio dropped the Metal and streamlined their sound for radio play. And yet they still came up with gems like this one.


GTR - When The Heart Rules The Mind


Proggers Steve Howe and Steve Hackett joined forces for one album and one hit song. "When The Heart..." is all about these two out noodling each other on the fret board to a Journey beat, making it one of the greatest songs ever!


Van Halen - Dreams


Maybe the signature song of the Van Hagar era, fighter pilots everywhere draw inspiration from the charged attitude and Blue Angels video.


Pat Benatar - We Belong


Tired of being pigeonholed as a Hard Rocker, Patty B mellows out with a clapping rhythm and heroic vocals.


Glass Tiger - Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone)


Whenever I think of this band, I think of what would have happened if the "Gl" part of their name had come off before the record release. But that's just me. Oh yeah, Bryan Adams cameos on this...big year for cameos!


John Farnham - You're The Voice


This was a worldwide smash hit everywhere but here. Leaving LRB, John Farnham becomes an Australian Demi God with this "We Are The World" type of jam. Play this with "We Belong" and "You've Got The Touch" and you will find you can climb mountains and swim across seas.


Genesis - Invisible Touch


The Phil version of Genesis kicks into Pop overdrive starting with this song, electronic drums and swirly synths in tow. I often thought of this as a sort of horror movie song. Think about it, she has an invisible touch that can reach inside of your heart to tear it apart. Like a hollow point bullet or something.


Honeymoon Suite - Feel It Again


Much of my blog has been dedicated to the greatness of this song, so I won't elaborate much more. Other than to say it rules!


Moody Blues - Your Wildest Dreams


Talk about left field hits, nobody, and I mean nobody, was expecting 'ol "Nights in White Satin" to have a #1 Pop hit. Patrick Moraz says you're welcome.


Steve Miller Band - I Want To Make The World Turn Around


The Miller Man takes his Miller Band to pay tribute to Pink Floyd on this very Floydian song.


Journey - Be Good To Yourself


Some people remember exactly where they were and what they were doing when they heard about a history changing event. When I first heard this song, I was with my Dad and brother in the car to go skiing in Nevada. After getting to the hotel, I sat with my tape recorder and waited patiently for this song to come back on the radio so I could record it. Journey was back!


Lou Gramm - Midnight Blue


Gramm's solo career started off with an emphasis on what he felt was a more Garage rock sound. I used to force my voice to sound all gravelly so I could imitate this song and sing along in the car.


Europe - The Final Countdown


Is there anything more excessive than a Pop Metal band imitating ELP? For a second it looked like Cozy Powell joined the wrong band. An evergreen of rock cheese, this song has seen a resurgence recently that is well deserved.


David Lee Roth - Yankee Rose


Like Robert Palmer, DLR did some math and figured out renting Eddie Van Halen was better than working with him. So Roth roped in up and comers Steve Vai and Billy Sheehan to go up against the Hagar fronted VH.



Samantha Fox - Touch Me (I Want Your Body)


Before there were Spice Girls there was just one girl, UK's famed page three beauty Samantha Fox. The Fox and her rough British accent brought a trashy tartiness to a silly slice of danceable pop rock.


Next up is 1987, Arena Rock launches into the next phase.

Mr Mike AOR Project 1985

It's the roar of the crowd: Arena Rock's commercial slickness and focused energy became attractive to movies and aging rockers who wanted to meet mass appeal.

1985 was the year AOR went Hollywood, movie soundtracks and classic rockers hit the arena rock scene hard. The Iron Eagle soundtrack spawned a slew of Arena Rock classics, so much I purposely limited the number of songs on these CDs because it was dominating the whole thing. So, not included are Queen's "One Vision", Adrenalin's "Sign of the Gypsy" and Eric Martin's "These Are The Good Times". On top of that was the classic Rocky IV soundtrack, giving us another shot of John Cafferty and Survivor genius. Following '84's Footloose soundtrack, Arena Rockers were finding a lot of work playing over a film's ending credits or getting cut into that most famous of 80's film fads, The Montage. At the same time, Rock legends from the 60's like Mick Jagger and Eric Clapton jumped in too choosing slicker sonics to blend with the times. Arena Rock was still big business and everyone wanted in.

Disc 1:

Heart - What About Love

The Wilson sisters kicked off their new deal with Capitol records by releasing a nice shiny epic power ballad. Few on the planet can wail like Ann Wilson.

Fiona - Talk to Me

The smoky voiced chanteuse will forever be the person Demi Moore lip sync'd to in No Small Affair to me, though she is probably better known for acting opposite Bob Dylan in his big screen flick. Fiona tried every trick in the book to achieve fame to no avail, which is shocking because if a duet with Kip Winger called "You're Sexing Me" can't get you attention then what can?

David Lee Roth - California Girls

Diamond Dave rocked out the Beach Boys classic to the tune of random shouts and windmill kicks, giving him the delusion that he could do it all on his own. If only I could get a DeLorean and go back in time to stop him.

Alan Parsons Project - Days Are Numbers (The Traveller)

Wistful is not an adjective that comes up much in Arena rock, the pomp rockers get all teary eyed over the magic Traveller man. Travel on you questing spirit!

Loudness - Crazy Night

The Japanese Metal Gods tried the American market for a little while, I couldn't get a good copy of the excellent "Let it Go" so I went with another good tune from them.

Robert Tepper - No Easy Way Out

Just think, without Robert Tepper then Rocky might never have jumped into his Porsche to drive away his regrets and fears over Apollo Creed's death. Drago!

Supertramp - Cannonball

Who needs Roger Hodgson? Oh yeah, Supertramp does. The first single sans Hodgson was a sleek piece of jazz rock that sounds oddly close to the James Bond theme towards the end.

Bryan Adams - Heaven

Forgotten fact about this song: it was released as part of a soundtrack for a movie where Christopher Atkins (Blue Lagoon) is a male stripper in a relationship with his teacher Lesley Ann Warren. A Night in Heaven I think it was called. Or if it was made today, it would be titled Another Day at School.

Mick Jagger - Just Another Night

The Stones front man shaked and shimmied as hard as he could to make this song fly. He nearly succeeds as he pushed this to the Top 20. Sorry Mick, you really need Keith to make this stuff work.

Motley Crue - Home Sweet Home

Before it was American Idol's kiss off song, the Crue took power balladry to new heights on this jam which saw them switch from Satanic leather to spandex and scarves. No longer shouting at the devil, they're all sensitive and missing home.

Dokken - In My Dreams

Dokken still rhymes with rockin', their best heavy harmony topped off with George Lynch's blazing guitar. In the early 90's this song was remade as a dance track by a Disney group called The Party.

Starship - We Built This City

Stiff, mechanical, dopey and cheesy: everything I love! The Starship hit warp speed with this idiotic yet insanely memorable smash. I even had the twelve inch back then which consisted of five minutes of the drum machine pattern going over and over again followed by the regular song.

Marillion - Kayleigh

They didn't make much of a splash in the U.S., Marillion was a well respected British prog band who hit the European charts with this pop cut.

Survivor - The Search is Over

It's like Cats with rockers, Survivor croon their dramatic tale that made the list of VH1's Awesomely Bad Love Songs just because it's about finding true love after dating a lot of women.

The Hooters - And We Danced

Philadelphia's eccentric pop rockers were named after an actual musical instrument, not what you might think (get your mind out of the gutter!). For some reason this band has a knack for writing hits for female singers, case in point - Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" and Joan Osbourne's "One of Us" (you know, the what if God was on the bus song).

Fortune - Dearborn Station

One of the lost bands of AOR, Fortune released a classic Arena rock disc in '85 and was virtually ignored for their trouble. Not so, ahem, fortunate.

Van Zant - I'm A Fighter

Before reviving Lynyrd Skynyrd, Johnny Van Zant took a shot at making a name for himself and made a little bit of headway with a two fisted rockers and ballads approach.

Disc 2:

Asia - Go

The last sort of hit for the British Prog AOR group, "Go" is like listening to Manheim Steamroller with Barry Manilow on lead vocals. That sounds awful, but it's really good. At least to me.

Magnum - On A Storyteller's Night

Germany likes to rock and Magnum serves up a bright shiny anthem that builds from a ballad to straight ahead rock. Combined with Asia, they serve up a special kind of cheese that can only come from Europe.

Tina Turner - Better Be Good To Me

Half the fun is listening to Turner's raspy insistent delivery, at it's core "Good to Me" is classic Arena rock dressed up in Adult Contemporary garb. The other part of the fun is listening to my wife's great Tina Turner imitation :)

REO Speedwagon - Can't Fight This Feeling

Along with Survivor, '85 was a big year for finding love right under your nose. Was it social commentary as the 60's spirit of unmarried sex combined with the wave of conservatism created a culture where it was expected to sleep around before getting married? Nope, just coinkidink. This song added some much needed miles to the Speedwagon's career as it shot to #1 on the Pop charts.

Joe Lynn Turner - Endlessly

Ex-Rainbow singer JoLT powered his solo debut with this magnificent moody ballad. I got to see JoLT live when he opened for Pat Benatar a year later, thought it was funny his tour shirts stressed JoLT with a lightning bolt because there was a caffeine heavy soda at the same time with a similar logo. Ah, that soda got me through many a college final.

Huey Lewis and the News - The Power of Love

Maybe a little too bar band to be true Arena Rock, nonetheless Huey Lewis and the News made a dent in the Pop Rock scene. This song gave Michael J Fox the power to skateboard his heart out in Back to the Future.

Mr. Mister - Broken Wings

Singer / Bassist / Songwriter Martin Page turned down a shot at replacing Peter Cetera in Chicago because he had faith in his own band. For one year he was right, Mr. Mister hit the top of the charts twice. Then after that it looked like he totally made the wrong choice as Mr. Mister decended into oblivion.

Eric Clapton - She's Waiting

Slowhand's hook up with Phil Collins produced some of his biggest AOR moments, "She's Waiting" was one of his best of Clap's 80's phase. Though I've always had a soft spot for that Miller beer remake of "After Midnight".

Michael McDonald - No Lookin' Back

Yes, there were occasional moments where Mikey McD would sing lead instead of background vocals. "No Lookin' Back" was McD's attempt to get out of R&B pop purgatory, an attempt that failed but still gave us a nice piece of soulful AOR.

Loverboy - Lovin Every Minute Of It

Written by Mutt Lange, it looks like Def Leppard, sounds like Def Leppard, but it's not. It's not Def Lep, it's Canada's Loverboy droppin' the New Wave to take their shot at full on Arena Rock.

The Power Station - Some Like It Hot

Driven by what I consider to be the single greatest drum performance of the Reagan Presidency, the late Tony Thompson gave the renegade Duran Durannies (John and Andy Taylor) something to dance about. And the cool sophistication of Robert Palmer didn't hurt either.

Heart - Never

This delicious chunk of wiry Arena Rock (Neevverrr! Never Run away...) was a huge smash not just for its catchiness. Nancy Wilson bouncing, writhing and kicking throughout the vid clip in tight spandex was a key selling point for millions.

Mike and the Mechanics - Silent Running

Okay, I never did figure out if this song went to a movie or not. The video made it seem like it belonged to a movie about aliens or something. Either way, Paul Carrack backed by Genesis' Mike Rutherford made a sleek proposition for high tech mystery.

Rush - The Big Money

The egghead hard rockers railed against THE MAN with this textured swipe at Corporate greed.

Y&T - Summertime Girls

Same old story: Long running Bay Area hard rock outfit sells out to pure cheese for MTV airplay. "Mean Streak" this is not. And yet I cannot resist it's sub-Hagar charm.

King Kobra - Iron Eagle (Never Say Die)

Damn right you never say die, this is America!

The Cars - Tonight She Comes

Little did we know at the time that this would be the last Cars hit to have any real impact. Ric Ocasek's offhand delivery distinguishes this synth heavy hit.

And Cut! That's a wrap people, see you in 1986.

Mr Mike Project 1984

Game, Set and Match: The future Mrs. McEnroe transforms into a Kabuki looking super heroine armed with fingers that can shoot walls of heartache.

In 1984 MTV became the undisputed center of the music world and three things happened to AOR as a result: First, the channel pushed a lot of L.A. Pop Metal in the wake of Quiet Riot's success leading to a lot of exposure for bands from the Sunset Strip. Second, established AOR bands saw a lot singers either get pushed to the forefront or make solo albums to become full on "stars" in their own right. You ended up with lengthy titles like Scandal featuring Patty Smyth, leaving no secret who the star of the show was regardless of the band name. Third, AOR started to become more homogenized as outside songwriters like Holly Knight ("Better Be Good To Me", "Never", "The Warrior") became standard issue to aspiring pop rockers. Because of this I tend to think of '84 as the Star Search year or Go Solo. Here's my two CDs for 1984.

Disc 1:

Russ Ballard - Voices

The erstwhile songwriter (Santana's "Winning") recorded some stuff of his own, including this track that became a minor hit following heavy exposure on Miami Vice.

The Firm - Radioactive

Jimmy Page + Paul Rodgers should equal greatness, yet all they could muster was one memorable song. I guess the name Bad Zeppelin would have been too definitive.

Motley Crue -Looks That Kill

The kings of the lipstick and leather crowd, Motley Crue first hinted at Satanic danger on their second record led by this lethal dose of Pop Metal.

Arc Angel - Tragedy

Really from 1983, Arc Angel (not to be confused with the post Double Trouble band) pushed themselves to the bottom rung of the charts with this nice ditty.

Ratt - Round and Round

Few mastered the "street urchin" look (bright colored torn clothing, fishnet and poodle hair) like Ratt did and for four minutes they were in hook city with this winner. And every guy air guitared that Warren DeMartini guitar solo and then mimicked the finger pointing straight up on the part where Robbin Crosby takes over.

Gary Moore - Empty Rooms

Back in the day, my neighbor friend used to tape records for me and put a Gary Moore album on the B side of each cassette in an effort to make me a fan. All these years I'm still not a fan, but this song is good.

Honeymoon Suite - New Girl Now

Another artist to gain a lot of exposure via Miami Vice, this Canuck quintet hit pay dirt with this synth backed hard rock anthem.

The Cars - Drive

Talk about a no brainer of a song title, Ben Orr's lovely ballad was a monster hit.

Black n Blue - Hold on to 18

I often regarded this band as a sort of pleasant joke, hard to believe when they started out they actually rocked pretty hard. Probably should have included later material from them when they were more plastic.

Stone Fury - Break Down The Wall

In the Reagan era everyone wanted to break down walls. Lenny Wolf was no exception, rockin it a few years before Kingdom Come.

Utopia - Crybaby

Todd Rundgren's prog rock dream child turned in a decent Pop Rocker with a classic Runt style swaying chorus.

Autograph - Turn Up the Radio

Another band that caused some name confusion (The Russian band of the same name was featured during Live Aid) distinguished itself with a tall ass lead singer and a drummer that defines 80's music vid posturing.

Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart

The song that started a way of life for me as a Yes fan, spiffy Trevor Horn production puts a nice shine on Trevor Rabin's pop rock glory.

Orion the Hunter - So You Ran

Guitarist Barry Goudreau strikes, filling the Boston void with his version of the beantown AOR band. And he does a real fine job of it here. Would you believe the singer's name is Fran Cosmo?

Steve Perry - Oh Sherrie

The Journey singer proves he doesn't need anyone else to find success on this ode to his then girlfriend. Although he would record two more Journey albums, Steve Perry's solo hits marked the end of an era for me. Journey was never the same afterwards. Doesn't change the fact that this song rules!

Tommy Shaw - Girls with Guns

The Styx axe slinger escapes Mr. Roboto land and turns in his most upbeat song...ever? Zippy synths and slammin drums power this track about - you know what it's about.

Scorpions - Rock You Like a Hurricane

Every sports program and half time show owes a debt to the German metal band's best known song, one of the greatest Pop Metal songs ever. Here I am!

John Waite - Missing You

After dismissing Jon Cain's "Open Arms" as too syrupy, the ex-Baby's singer lets out a ballad of his own backed by a track made for school dance remixes.

Disc 2:

Van Halen - Jump

Eddie Van Halen adds more synthesizer to their antics and David Lee Roth finds inspiration in suicide jumpers leading to the band's biggest pop hit.

LRB- Playing to Win

The Aussie Country rockers drop the Country and most of the letters in their name (Little River Band) putting manic keyboards in its place. Freakin' love this cheesy song.

Whitesnake - Slow and Easy

Proof that before David Coverdale was ripping off Led Zep he was...ripping off Led Zep. But few have done it better then or now.

Sammy Hagar - I Can't Drive 55

This seems less rebellious now that the speed limit is 65, at the time this was probably the biggest protest song of the 80's. Sure other generations protested wars, social injustices and what not but we, we protested the speed limit. Take that!

Giuffria - Call to the Heart

One of the great unsung AOR bands led by keyboardist Gregg Giuffria (ex-Angel). They were the minor leagues of AOR with ex band members later going to Quiet Riot, Dio and Boston.

Dennis DeYoung - Desert Moon

Now free of Tommy Shaw, nobody could stop DeYoung from going full on Broadway or his sappy love songs. This led to one of DeYoung's best ballads, the reverie of "Desert Moon".

Bryan Adams - Summer of 69

In the 90's Adams revealed this song was not about the year '69 but the sexual position. And if anyone wants to imagine his pockmarked craggy mug between some girl's legs all I can say is Nasty!

ZZ Top - Legs

The Texas trio found a stream of never ending gold with this cut. Long beards, spinning guitars and Playboy models made this simple yet effective rocker easy to swallow.

Foreigner - I Want to Know what Love Is

For better or worse, Mick Jones and Lou Gramm turn the corner from rock band to balladeers with this unforgettable #1 smash. The gospel choir puts magic in this slow moving inspirational track.

Night Ranger - Sister Christian

Soaring guitars, bic lighter choruses about "motoring" and earnest vocals mark one of the definitive power ballads of the decade. Or if you watch Boogie Nights, great background music for drug dealers.

Slade - Run Runaway

Quiet Riot's cover of their "Cum On Feel The Noize" brought this British glam rock band back for one more round of goofy fun.

Twisted Sister - We're Not Gonna Take It

Speaking of goofy fun, Dee Snider's costumed metal band summed up media inspired teen rebellion with a classic vid clip placing them against the bad guy from Animal House. Between this and Sammy Hagar, teen rebellion seemed so canned back then.

Scandal featuring Patty Smyth - The Warrior

Or if you go with Smyth's New Yawk enunciation, "The War-Re-Uh", shootin up them walls of heartache. Bang! Bang! I remember a friend of a friend gettin' pissed off whenever this song came on, he considered it the dumbest song ever. Good times (I didn't care for that guy).

Van Stephenson - Modern Day Delilah

Sleek pop rock that makes me want to cruise L.A. at one AM. Don't ask me why.

Survivor - I Can't Hold Back

Two of the greatest voices in AOR, Jimi Jamison and Starship's Mickey Thomas, combine on one of the Chicago band's best songs. And that music video was pure Risky Business.

John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band - On The Dark Side

Bruce Springsteen's chief acolyte came up with a strong Boss pastiche. Michael Pare', where are you now?

Toto - Stranger in Town

"Stranger in Town" has been sort of shunned by the band after its release rarely making Greatest Hits or Best of comps despite the fact that it charted. Sure it's a silly song with boogie man vocals and a lyrical theme that makes no sense on the surface other than bizarre xenophobia. But still, it charted (it hit like #30 on the pop charts or something like that).

John Parr - Naughty Naughty

You know what really sold me on this song? When they used it for commercials in a vampire movie called Near Dark. Something about that advertisement really got the rhythm hook jammed in my brain and I haven't forgot it ever since.

And that was 1984. Next we go to the heart of the 80's, 1985!

Midnight Madness - Tatiana Del Toro Edition

She likes herself, she really really likes herself: Tatiana Del Toro in full drama action.

The ultimate drama queen, Tatiana Del Toro, lost for a second time on American Idol and ended her run on her knees crying in front of the judges. While she's annoying as all get out, I've gotta say her self absorbed dramatics have provided many of the entertaining moments from this season so far. In her brief episode this week, Tatiana defended her tired old song choice (Whitney Houston's "Saving All My Love For You") and tried to ride the good will fellow contestant Jorge generated by invoking a Latin accent. It was so blatant that Paula Abdul called her on it. So goodbye Tatiana Del Toro, the show is technically better without you but will be a little duller too.

American Idol update - The show is going for a Top 13 this year to give a little room for the Anoop Dogg. Of the people to not make it, the only one I really wanted to see more of was Jesse Lerseth who turned out a pretty decent version of Chaka Khan's "Tell Me Something Good."

Everybody Wants Some!! - There may be a Guitar Hero: Van Halen in the works on top of the existing GH: Metallica and the forthcoming GH: Beatles. With all these boutique Guitar Hero games, will we eventually get down to a Guitar Hero: White Lion game?

Target Team Members Gett Off - Prince has signed a deal with the chain store to sell his upcoming 3 CD set. It will include two new Prince albums plus a third disc by someone who I assume is a protege' of his. Maybe Target will create a Prince section like Wal Mart did for AC/DC? You can pick up his CD, get some diamonds and pearls plus purple glitter coat in one spot!

Bonorific - U2 has a street named after them in New York now called U2 Way. With their return to the limelight, all of the good U2 puns are taken. So all I got is Bonorific. They've also announced they'll release a second album this year called Songs of Ascent and that it will feature a song called "Every Breaking Wave".

Mis Fortune - INXS says they didn't release singer JD Fortune and the supposed firing at the airport never happened. Sometimes you kick, sometimes you get kicked.

Crue it - Motley Crue will be hitting the road again soon and may even play the Dr. Feelgood album in its entirety to celebrate its 20th anniversary. If you're a fan that's been waiting to hear "Slice of your Pie" live, this is your year.

Teen group failure, now in 3D! - The media is widely reporting that the new Jonas Brothers movie has stiffed at the box office. I'm not a fan of these kids music, yet it seems to me the media is having too much fun reporting on this. Though on the up side, at least film will be one part of electronic media that I won't have to see endlessly advertised for them in the future.

Stay With Me - The Faces reunion rumors just won't die, it's pretty much been said it's all up to Rod Stewart to make it happen.

Let's Tap into America - The Spinal Tap tour is going unplugged meaning we'll be hearing acoustic versions of classics like "Hell Hole" and "Big Bottom". I'm sure it will be funny, just as a concept it doesn't cut it for me.

Get Your Groove On Grunge God - Chris Cornell has a new track produced by Timbaland called Scream. Interesting. Very interesting.

Cherry Bomb - Looks like the Runaways movie is picking up steam, former child star Dakota Fanning has been cast in the film.

Meeting People is Easy - It seems both Myley Cyrus and Kanye West received the cold shoulder from Radiohead. Guess all those songs about alienation aren't fake.

Robin Williams will be undergoing heart surgery - The comic actor has given several memorable performances and great moments during his long career, so I won't poke fun at him at all. I'll just say I wish him well.

We All Watch the Watchmen - The delayed comic book adaptation finally hit the big screen and raked in the big bucks over the weekend. Yes!

Reality TV Douchebags - Two guys have caused a stir with their recent reality TV appearances. The Bachelor dude apparently picked a winner to marry and then turned around and dumped her for a runner up contestant. He'd be the most hated man in reality TV if it wasn't for the guy from last month's episode of Wife Swap. This guy takes stuck up to a new level and I'm sad to say is from the Bay Area, if you want some proof just check out what's below.

Wife Swap dude

Mr Mike Project 1981

OK, we're up to 1981. A year that saw the people who practically invented the genre make their final significant contribution to their legacy (The Stones, The Who). Arena rock was in full swing with Styx, REO, Foreigner and Journey dominating the charts. A year to remember indeed.

One of the big debates I had with myself was where to draw the line between mainstream rock and Arena Rock. It was a tough call sometimes. I immediately removed anything that seemed hardcore Metal, so no Metallica, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, etc. New Wave artists who were considered Arena Rock later on, i.e. The Police and U2, didn't make the cut. Also, I had to rule out most Midwestern rock, so no John Mellencamp (though "Hurts So Good" came close to making my list), one Bob Seger song and no Tom Petty. The only major Midwest rocker I included was Bruce Springsteen, just because I've seen him twice and its hard to sit through a stadium of people sing along to "Hungry Heart" and not consider him a little Arena Rock. That and other people on my discs were heavily influenced by the Boss so it seems strange to not have him there.

What made it close even for Springsteen is what I consider to be the overriding element of Arena Rock: Cheese. There must be cheese. Not smooth, tasty cheese either. It must be government cheese, cheap and strong like a pimp's cologne. You can smell it a mile away. It must be overblown and a little pretentious to become real AOR. Like standing downwind from a sewage treatment plant, you must sense the overpowering nature of Arena Rock!

Disc 1:

Loverboy - Working For The Weekend

The Canadian rockers pumped up the wavy synths and came up with the all time anthem for weekend warriors everywhere. Get ready 'cause it's flag football time.

AC/DC - For Those About To Rock

No subtlety allowed in the land of Album Oriented Rock, you gotta give it up to a band that literally pulls out the canons to blow you away.

Rush - Tom Sawyer

It's probably my old age, but geekdom was tougher in the old days. You didn't have as many computers to do the thinking for you, games required dice and calculating imaginary statistics. Watching movies required going to a movie theater. And the bands you listened to had musical prowess and science fiction lyrics. Yet all the wisdom points in the medieval world couldn't match the awesome power of Rush. If you spent hours playing Star Raiders on Atari with a wore out joy stick then this is your jam.

Pat Benatar - Fire and Ice

Remember those old all weather tire advertisements that would put the tire through heat and cold? That has nothing to do with this song, Pat wails about those head playin' dudes.

Jefferson Starship - Find Your Way Back

Guitarist Craig Chaquico tears it up with this catchy rocker that plays well off of Mickey Thomas' soaring voice. Did Paul Kantner have a clue that he was losing control of his band? Hmmm...

38 Special - Hold on Loosely

What can I say about this song I haven't said already? How about calling this "Important dating tips from heavily bearded men."

Foreigner - Urgent

"You're not shy / You get around" Lou Gramm sets up the story early about his hard rock bootie call punctuated by Junior Walker's magnificent sax solo.

Rod Stewart - Young Turks

I couldn't fit "Infatuation" in on 1984, hated "Baby Jane" and didn't think "Lost in You" had enough impact so I settled for "Young Turks". My wife said I didn't like this song. Maybe I didn't, but it fits the bill in representin' Rod in the AOR 80's.

Rick Springfield - Jessie's Girl

Two words: Pure. Genius.

Def Leppard - Bringin' On The Heartbreak

The Lep make the jump to the big time with this pounding ballad, can't you see...can't you see......No! No-oauh! Noooaahhhh! And then a decade later Mariah Carey would transform this song into an epic disaster.

Point Blank - Nicole

Two fisted drinking bar band sound with a slight California polish. Makes me want to grab Janet and Chrissy for a drink at the Regal Beagle.

Triumph - Fight The Good Fight

The poor man's Rush set their flash pots for kill on this, er, triumphant salute to power rock. Oh, and I totally mean that as a compliment, I love Triumph!

Styx - Too Much Time On My Hands

Tommy Shaw's sardonic tale of unemployment blues strikes a chord as much now as it did then.

Rainbow - I Surrender

Restraint has never been Richie Blackmore's strong suit, but here he stays out of wailin' Joe Lynn Turner's way.

Spider - New Romance

Would you believe this early 80's band wrote and performed John Waite's "Change" and Tina Turner's "Better Be Good To Me" first? I couldn't either but it's true. Classic upbeat 80's power pop dressed up as AOR.

Santana - Winning

One of the great sports montage tracks of the time, I remember a local commercial featuring a lot of jogging in slo mo to the tune of this track.

Bruce Springsteen - Hungry Heart

Really this came from '80 but I decided to place the Boss on my discs at the last second. Would you believe this was originally written with The Ramones in mind?

Kansas - Hold On

Another 1980 track, I just had to have some classic lineup Kansas thrown in if I could.

Disc 2:

The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up

Is that the sound of Window's '95 loading? The last great Stones rip gets their swagger on in a big way. I'm still curious about how this sounded when they tried to make it reggae.

Chilliwack - My Girl

Always loved this bands name. Alternating between sunny and dark as the girl in question stone cold leaves Chilliwack in the dust.

REO Speedwagon - Take It On The Run

Arguably the Illinois band's best known track, we all took the "Heard it from a friend who" section hook line and sinker.

April Wine - Just Between You and Me

Myles Goodwin gets all sentimental and French thinkin' misty eyed thoughts.

Journey - Who's Cryin' Now

The addition of keyboardist Jon Cain gave vocalist Steve Perry the writing partner he needed to sell heartfelt ballads to the muscle T masses.

Blue Oyster Cult - Burnin For You

You know you want to throw on some shades and drive your El Dorado to the park to chug a lug some brew when you hear this song. Admit it!

Peter Frampton - Breaking All The Rules

Because I wasn't covering the 70's I was really worried I would have nothing to represent the guy who ushered in the Arena Rock era in earnest. Then I found this cut on ITUNES. I was so freakin' happy.

Night - Hot Summer Nights

I found out about this group on ITUNES too. Never heard of them before that, but you can't beat this laid back good time rock with a quintessential 80's band name.

Red Rider - Lunatic Fringe

This is one of those songs that hung around all decade long but never seemed to become a big hit.

Van Halen - Unchained

My all time favorite Van Halen track, monster guitars and David Lee Roth throwin' attitude all over. Hey hey, one break comin' up!

Prism - Don't Let Him Know

Another of Canada's finest serves up electro hand claps and razzle dazzle keyboards to a marching beat.

Sammy Hagar - There's Only One Way To Rock

...and it's Sammy's way.

Genesis - Abacab

I don't know much about playing musical instruments, but I was blown away when it was revealed the title is a chord progression.

ELO - Hold On Tight

A great song. So why have all my memories of this cut been obliterated by a commercial for pain relievers?

Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

My favorite witchy woman let's her white winged dove loose to a jittering guitar riff.

The Cars - Shake It Up

Is it mainstream rock or is it New Wave? We'll never know, The Cars were the only band to straddle that line perfectly.

The Who - You Better You Bet

How many CSI shows do you think they'll have to make before this gets made a theme song? You Better (shine a flashlight on a dead body) You Better (look constipated viewing through a microscope lens) You Bet (act like a big shot at a crime scene). CSI Tacoma anyone?

The Little River Band - The Night Owls

When the bass player sang lead on this track, little did they know that it would eventually result in his taking over the band. He wasn't even an original member! But Little River Band still tours to this day, the bass player is the only guy that was there for the hitmaking years.

That's 1981, my next set of CDs go to the year that got me hooked on music - 1982.

Midnight Madness - Super Bowl Edition

"The Catch" part 2: The Steeler's make a touchdown pass reminscent of the 49ers famous snag.

We Will We Will Rock You! Just warming up for the...oh, that was last week? Yeah it was, the first Super Bowl I've watched in about 20 years or so went pretty well. I don't really follow sports or watch it on tv much, I enjoyed playing the games more than observing them (a victim of my short attention span, I love highlight reels because you see the exciting parts without all the strategy and what not) and can't recall watching a Bowl game since that one with Da Bears. You know the one, the one where Jim McMahon tried to show off early on with a bootleg and got turned inside out on the tackle. Anywho, this Super Bowl was an exciting game where the Arizona Cardinals (still St Louis to me) was narrowly beaten by the...jeez, I can't remember who won. The Pittsburgh Steelers, that's who. Glad to see the Terrible Towels are still around. I forgot his name already, but I can't recall seeing a quarterback as big as a lineman before (the Steelers guy) who was mobile as hell. My wife and I had a friendly wager that resulted in me winning a "pamper day" (not the diaper) and yesterday we had a nice day of pizza and DVD watching :) Thank you Bunny! Now, on to the Madness!

Cranked Up? - The famed Super Bowl commercials didn't really impress me much this year, what stuck the most is the one with Jason Stratham going Grand Theft Auto through a series of decades. That wasn't bad, the "I'm Good" beer commercial I can see catching on too. My favorite was the hip hop astronauts getting their moon buggy's tires stripped while they were collecting moon rocks.

Save Jack - Which reminds me, the current series of ads that started at the Super Bowl of Jack from Jack in the Box being in a major accident is a major bummer. He's my favorite fast food pitchman, it's like they're blowing up the clown all over again.

It's Boss Time! - Bruce Springsteen pulled out the stops for his half time show, scampering around, sliding into cameras and slinging his guitar around with a big grin on his face. And the way Ticketmaster is selling his tour tickets, the Super Bowl coverage is probably the best seats anyone will score for seeing him live this year.

Devils & Dust- The Boss' business blues continued with regretting his Wal - Mart deal following a backlash from fans. At least his new CD Working On A Dream went to #1 on the charts.

Going Bat Sh*t - First, Batman gets no respect from the Oscars with hardly any major noms. Then a tape recording of Christian Bale going all Hollywood tantrum on a lighting guy from the set of Terminator: Salvation hits the media. The fit Bale threw was so extreme the actor could barely defend his own "I'm in character" excuse. Any other working person would be fired for the behavior Bale displayed. Ah the perks of being a movie star.

At Last - Etta James goes off on both Beyonce and President Obama following the Bootylicious One's performance of "At Last" during the Presidential Inauguration. She went as far as to say Beyonce was going to get her ass beat, which would be a threat if it wasn't for her age. Ah the perks of being unable to carry out threats.

Passings - Both keyboardist Billy Powell (Lynyrd Skynyrd) and drummer Dewey Martin (Buffalo Springfield) passed away over the last two weeks :(

Year of the Dragon - is the name of my favorite Mickey Rourke movie, a brutal cop film in which he plays a detective that's racist against Asians while working a case in Chinatown. It's one of those movies that's so awesomely bad it's good. Speaking of Rourke, he dropped out of Wrestlemania as quickly as he announced his participation in it. Someone must have tipped him off that Best Actor nominees don't win if their next career move is actual wrestling.

A plot to take over the world? - Pearl Jam, Van Halen and Spinal Tap - yes, THE Spinal Tap, are either working on or planning to work on new music. It could be the perfect storm of hard rock thunder.

Bikini Wax - The most notable contestant so far in this year's American Idol, Bikini Girl, ran her 10 seconds of fame right down to it's annoying end this week. Too soon to tell if anyone truly talented is in this year though there are flashes of promise.

Bridgestone Tires Ad

Turkey Shoot - The Top 10 Most Disappointing Songs

I missed posting on Thanksgiving, had a delicious dinner at my parents place. So my Thanksgiving post is a day late, with Turkey's being the key symbol of this Holiday I thought it would be a good time to do a Top 10 Turkey Songs. These aren't songs about...haven't you heard? I said HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? About the Bird? Bird Bird Bird, Bird is a Word...

Anyway, these are the 10 most disappointingly bad songs I've heard. They feature a lot of my favorite artists because it's harder to be disappointed in a musical act you don't have much of an interest in anyway. So here it is, the Ten most disappointing songs I've heard...Ten Turkeys- songs that should have been left overs. Pulled from the refrigerator, unwrapped from its protective foil and thrown out in the street. Somebody get the gravy!

10. Night Ranger - The Secret of My Success (1987)

The Bay Area rockers were on a roll with Top 10 hits and Platinum albums by the mid 80's. What could be better? How about a movie soundtrack theme for the latest Michael J Fox movie, co written and Produced by the inimitable David Foster? This is a plan that can't go wrong. The power of Night Ranger, the super slick sonics of David Foster and the likability of Michael J Fox all rolled into one. A Perfect Storm of marketing synergy. Depressingly, that's exactly what it sounds like- a marketing plan brought to life. Foster's Chicagoisms of synth horns, mannered guitar work and busy instrumentation didn't mesh well with Night Ranger's free wheeling high speed rawk. Unsurprisingly, Night Ranger saw their commercial fortunes slide after this song.

9. Cheap Trick - Woke Up With A Monster (1993)

By the late 80's / early 90's the Tricksters had been all over the map stylistically. When they got to "Woke Up With A Monster", the group seemed tired. It was like they were trying to work up some whimsy but only had enough juice to sound mean. Thankfully, shortly after Alternative Rock bands began citing Cheap Trick as an influence-buying them some much needed credibility.

8. Styx - Music Time (1984)

Styx was near the end of their initial run and to cap it they released a double live album, Caught in the Act. The record came with one new studio track, "Music Time". I was so excited, I was getting a live record by one of my favorite groups plus a new song. Then I actually heard the record. "Music Time" took all of the annoying excesses that ringleader Dennis DeYoung could muster and slammed it into a four minute tune. All the dorky Broadway jazz hands crap that DeYoung had in him to a cheap synth riff unchecked by anything. Seee it. Liiikke it. Loooovve it. DoitDoitDoitDoit. Waannt it. Neeedd it. Can't get enough of it! All the wayyyy!

7. Steve Perry - I Am (1994)

Can "The Voice" really do wrong? After hearing this track, the answer is Yes. The song is supposed to convey a sense of hard won maturity but instead it comes off as turgid and self indulgent. A torpid pace sinks any chance "I Am" has of winning me over, one of the few songs to be graced by Perry's voice that I just can't stand. It's like watching a bad episode of Dr Phil where a guy can't stop bleeding his heart out.

6. Boston - Corporate America (2004)

I like everything Boston, even this song I like in a so-bad-it-becomes-kinda-good way. Many an Arena Rock band has made the mistake of thinking a cheap, anxious synth line sounds good. Although this was recorded in the 21st Century, the overworked keyboards immediately dates the track as early 80's to the point that the rampaging guitars in the chorus isn't enough to ramp up interest. To top it off, Boston leader Tom Scholz stacks the deck with awful lyrics decrying the evils of large corporations. Look Out! Look Out!

5. Chicago - Bigger Than Elvis (1993/2008)

When Jason Scheff replaced Peter Cetera in 1985, Scheff was recognizably different in his approach though many did not notice. Jason Scheff had a more winsome style that could get more than a little sentimental. But until the recently released Stone of Sisyphus disc I had no idea how sentimental. On "Elvis", Scheff writes a heartfelt ode to lovin' his Dad ( not that way, get your mind out of the gutter sicko). Scheff's father was the bass player for Elvis Presley, the song chronicles how Scheff loves his Pop to the point that his Father is "Bigger Than Elvis". A beautiful arrangement can't mask the saccharine, be careful when listening to this or you may go into a diabetic coma.

4. Asia - Countdown To Zero (1985)

During the Cold War, the Arms race and possibility of Nuclear War was on everyone's minds. It was on John Wetton's mind, resulting in one of the worst anti-war anthems you could imagine. "Countdown to Zero" has more corn than, well, a corn field as Wetton builds the anxiety about irreconcilable international tensions. What really caps it is the ending, where Wetton reels off a list of Countries names and then pleads for Peace. In a large, booming echoey voice, Wetton slowly intones "Don't Do It. Don't Press the Button. No. Don't Start. Don't Start the Countdown to Zero. We Want To Live. We Will Live. Don't Press the Button." and goes on like this for a while. It's hilariously bad, in College I had a running joke with a roommate who also liked Asia where we would talk just like this.

3. Van Halen - How Many Say I (1998)

With Van Halen 3, Eddie Van Halen had finally gotten rid of all the lead singers that had stood in his way of total domination of the band. And now EVH could do what he really wanted to do...sing! With a weathered voice that made Roger Waters sound like Christina Aguilera, Eddie Van Halen ended Van Halen 3 with this piano based ballad containing an almost childlike circular melody. Raw ego never sounded so wrong.

2. GTR - The Hunter (1986)

Debuting with the outstanding "When The Heart Rules the Mind", GTR hit the scene as a team up of prog guitar legends Steve Howe (Yes, Asia) and Steve Hackett (Genesis). After taking in "Mind", I anxiously waited for the follow up single. What I got was this, the ridiculous "The Hunter". Musically, it's a very nice song featuring Howe and Hackett's fine acoustic guitars. What stops the fun is a sing songy melody with lyrics like "He's a fighter, he's a swan, he's the one I'm counting on. Steal the glory, take the prize - only the Hunter, only the Hunter...Survives!" El lamo.

1. Rod Stewart - Love Touch (1985)

For two decades this song has represented to me all that can be crappy in music. Taken from the soundtrack for the Robert Redford / Debra Winger rom com Legal Eagles, Stewart doesn't just go Pop but ingests it whole like a Sarlacc pit. It should be a slight, innocuous pop piece of fluff. But something in this song offends me on a deep deep level. Nothing here works for me, its not just the sound of someone selling out that gets me. It's the sound of a talented performer phoning in a performance to a song devoid any real feeling done in a style that's supposed to seem adventurous and fun. And then I had to watch this hunk of junk become a Top 10 hit. Oh the pain, the pain. I can't even bring myself to provide a link to this.

That wraps up my Top 10 musical turkeys, as I mentioned at the start these are some of my favorite groups so why carp on just one song versus the hundreds that I enjoy from these people? Simple, because it's fun. No one can be perfect all the time and these artists are no exception. Though that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun at their expense. And it's perfectly possible that other people may love these songs. So have you heard? Have you heard about the Bird? Bird Bird Bird, Bird is a Word...