Short Attention Span Theater

That's gnarly!

When music videos gained popularity in the early 80s, there was a lot of talk about how this was a new art form and would be like "mini-movies". After a few years that trend died and music clips were reduced to various performance miming bits. Now, in 2010, there are two music videos that are essentially "mini-movies" the first one directed by Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, From Dusk Til Dawn) no less. As Mel Allen used to say, "How about that?"

The first video I got as a free download from ITunes this week by a guy named Bob Schneider. I got the name confused with Fred Schneider of The B 52's and thought "Cool, I loved that song about the monster in the pants and it does a dirty dance" so I clicked on it. Turned out to be a pleasant sort of polished indie singer songwriter deal. The video is like the ultimate 3 minute rom com, just missing the oh-no-they-might-break-up second act. What makes this better than say The Proposal or She's All That is if you don't like the flick, it's only three minutes of your time. That's modern efficiency!

The embed code isn't working so you can click here to see it.

The second video is by Free Energy whose album overall I was disappointed with but I liked this tune "Bang Pop". This video is in the ever popular setting of high school (see She and Him "In The Sun") and has the early 80s teen sexploitation flick look down. You can't watch this video and not think of Porkys or Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Awesome! Totally awesome.

The embedding is disabled so to see it you can click here. Sort of like that old Porky's tv ads, "We can't show you what happens on tv so you'll have to see the movie". Or something like that.

Experience The Rainbow

This KRQR double shot is a little more fitting for the radio station these posts pay tribute to, both of the following acts were hard rock regulars in the 80s.

The first is a to send more well wishes to the rocker Bret Michaels. Like him or hate him, I can't imagine anyone wishing the string of medical problems he's suffered the past month or so. Admittedly, I'm a bigger fan of Bret Michaels Reality Star more than Bret Michaels rock singer. On tv, Michaels comes across as an amiable sleaze with a strong work ethic and creative drive. And yes, a man whore. Whether he's asking a drunken slut to rock his world or pitching a flurry of ideas at a project manager, Michaels makes for great tv. The music of Poison is a little more hack and less inspired, but even that has its redeeming moments. And one of those redeeming moments is here, the early 90s power ballad "Something To Believe In"

The second shot in this twofer Thursday is a belated tribute to the recently deceased mighty Ronnie James Dio. RJD was one of the definining front men in Metal, a gnomish devil horn saluting growler. Dio first hit my radar with his arms raised to the sky - like a rainbow! A "Rainbow In The Dark" or as he enunciates it "A Reign-bow! In the Dahrrk!!" In recent years I've dug some of Dio's Sabbath stuff and who wouldn't love Rainbow's "Man On A Silver Mountain"? In final tribute to this icon of Heavy Metal, here's "Rainbow In The Dark".

Hopefully there won't be as much pain and misery in Metal's coming months (but isn't that what Metal's about?) until then it's like a REIGN-BOW!

You Look Mahvelous...Absolutely Mahvelous!

Remember when Dirk Diggler recorded "You Got The Touch" in Boogie Nights? Almost as funny as this, 'cause this shit is real!

When I was a wee lad Billy Crystal had this funny as hell bit on Saturday Night Live where he was Fernando Lamas celebrating the superficial with his catch phrase "You look mahvelous...absolutely mahvelous." A quarter century later, the joke has become reality on reality tv. Today's post celebrates D level reality tv celebrities celbrating themselves creating instant camp classics in the process.

First up, Real Housewives Of New York star Luann De Lesseps pulls out all the auto tune stops with her song "Money Can't Buy You Class". Or as my wife says "Can't buy you class but can buy you singing lessons." 'Cause Luann sure needs them. But her lack of singing ability makes this track that much better, hearing her stuck up ass talk like a cougared Miss Manners in the verses and then flatly warble thru the chorus punctuated with a robotic exclaim of "My-friends" or "Oh-yeah" is too damn funny. She takes vanity to a whole new level.

Not that De Lesseps is a pioneer in this field, there is the incredibly bad Heidi Montag music video "Higher" from a few years back. Heavily ridiculed and lampooned over the years, this epic fail is the reverse of De Lesseps in it's youthful take on insipid vanity. At least Montag may have had some original moving parts on her body back then, so it can serve as a blueprint when they try to rebuild her a few years from now. I can't say much about this that hasn't been said before somewhere else, but I can haul this relic out one more time!

And now for the model of these reality stars, Billy Crystal's "You Look Marvelous". I so had this 45 back in the day. Is that really worth bragging about?

Jimmy Carter's Revenge Part One: The Phantom Menace

I thought 70s retro was done after the 90s? Now it seems back with a vengeance and you know what, I can't complain. If more and more people want to worship at the temple of Angus Young, I'm totally cool with that. 70s retro hard rock without Lenny Kravitz may seem like a dirty phrase and yet I'm digging it down to my bell bottoms. (I just realized I keep acting like 70s retro is a new thing yet do a post about it every couple of months, what's up with that?)

So first up on the Carter Administration revival is a band called The Binges. Decked out in those generic football T shirts that everyone (including me) wore like Tommy on Eight Is Enough, this band made up of two sisters from Japan and two sleazy dudes play with a fire that's rarely seen these days. What's more impressive is the monster grooves they come up with has an authentic feel like it came from the 70s instead of aping it. This band has gotten some buzz thanks to That Metal Show, I found out about them because of the Rock It Out blog I've been following. I'm impressed by this band, definitely gonna check more of them out.

And while this next group, now on their second album, is as straight a rip as you can get off AC/DC without resurrecting the body of Bon Scott it's hard not to enjoy the simple pleasures of Airbourne.

And what the hell, may as well throw in the original...

Of all the concerts I've seen, AC/DC was by far the best show I'd witnessed ever!

One last note, an online well wish to Bret Michaels of Poison who is currently hospitalized and in critical condition. I'm not a huge fan of Poison itself but really enjoy his reality tv appearances.

All That Glitters Is Gold...

No more drama! Mary J Blige boldly takes on an iconic classic rock song.

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Stairway To Heaven

In the classic rock oevere (is that a word? I think I see it now and then used to mean like a set of something) there are certain songs that are considered sacred cows. One of those songs is the Led Zeppelin classic, maybe their best known jam, "Stairway To Heaven".

Hard to believe I didn't hear "Stairway To Heaven" until almost a decade in to my listening to rock music. This and "Free Bird" I only knew of by reputation. When I heard Led Zeppelin on the radio, it was almost always "D'yer Mak'er". Or "Rock and Roll". Sometimes "The Battle Of Evermore". It was about 1989 when I went thru a Led Zep phase and bought Led Zep IV which contained the legendary tune. I liked it enough to use the song in a video production class I was taking, got a decent grade for it too.

Sometimes a song starts showing up on my radar for no real reason. It just happens. While searching Itunes for interesting cover versions of well known songs, I came across an Imix that included "Stairway To Heaven" by Dolly Parton. My first reaction was this had to be a joke. Dolly Parton? Really?? After playing it, while the song had a certain kitchy appeal I had to admit that Dolly sounded real commited to the performance of the song. I could actually take her version seriously and enjoy it while at the same time poke fun. Can't pass up a song like that can I?

If you answered "No, he can't" then you would be right. About a week later I went to Itunes again and could not believe my eyes. Mary J Blige, an excellent R&B artist (one of the few modern R&B performers I consistently like even though I only have a handful of her songs) covered both "Stairway To Heaven" and "Whole Lotta Love". "Whole Lotta Love" is a bit of a mish mash between guitar rock and dance beats that doesn't quite fit together. Her "Stairway To Heaven" was more of a straight ahead cover, a little respectable although definitely karaoke. Gonna give her credit for taking this one on at least.

Still, it was just weird how in a few weeks "Stairway To Heaven" covers have just been popping up in front of me, so that folks is my KRQR double shot for today. Well, maybe I should throw in the original too.

And she's buy-yuy-ying a stair-air-way. To heave-ennnnn....

Giants Under The Sun

Quick, get me some Arena Rock on the radio before someone drowns!

Today's KRQR moment is brought to you by the fine website Melodic Rock, an online destination that has served old AOR fans like me since the 90's. Two bands have gotten a slight promotional push through this site and have songs I like plus another song I'm into right now, so those are the three clips for today.

First up is Giant aka that band that had that one hit ("I'll See You In My Dreams") before Kurt Cobain wiped them off the map. In one of those standard band reformations that plague classic rock groups, the rhythm section has banded together minus their key player (in this case guitarist/vocalist/songwriter Dann Huff) to lay claim to an established name. Such as it is, because if you don't own say Monster Power Ballads Volume Whatever, you probably have no clue who Giant is. Or if you're at the other extreme, you may know exactly who Giant is and have to get used to Terry Brock in place of Huff which isn't a bad trade per se. Either way can be a win or lose situation, in the end what it comes down to is the music. This song "Promise Land" is totally stuck in my head, with a nice girl on a beach themed clip. The combo of the pretty girl and streamlined AOR has me flashing back to early Baywatch when they would play an anonymous song while showing women running in slo mo. When I hear Brock go on about breaking barracades or taking things day by day or what have you, I am so totally ready to rescue a bathing beauty from drowning.

The group that is on Melodic Rock's main page right now is Serpentine, a band that quite frankly I know nothing about other than what's posted on that screen. The video is interesting, keyboard heavy arena rock with a lead singer that looks like Kid Rock. "Whatever Heartache" has an incredibly Steve Perry-esque vocal on it, which I am always a sucker for. Oh, and Sarah Silverman can bite me for talkin' trash about "The Voice".

Last up is a song I'm hooked on from W.E.T.'s album that I reviewed not too long ago. "If I Fall" is pure AOR glory, even if the chorus does slightly remind me of Journey's "Signs Of Life" from Arrival.

And that's it, the motherlode of modern arena rock. Thank you, Melodic Rock, for always providing the most up to date info on the bands that are important to me. Keep the fire burnin!

I Wanna Go Back

"I Wanna Go Back" is an oldie but goodie hit from the Money man in 1986, a song that Blender magazine rated one of the Top 500 songs of the past 25 years. For decades, I thought Eddie Money was the only guy to release a recording of this sentimental slice of pop rock. But in the past month I've found out that there are two versions that pre date Edward Mahoney's smash take. The original version is by a band called Billy Satellite who managed to make the Hot 100 in 1984 with it (a song co-written by guitarist Danny Chauncey, latter of the revamped Thirty Eight Special). Their take was a little softer and after watching the video online I realized I had seen/heard their clip before way back when and didn't realize it was the same tune two years later. Then, when buying a Gregg Rolie cd for $1 last week I found yet another version of "I Wanna Go Back" on it (released in 1985). So the song had a longer and interesting history than I ever knew, though of course Money's punchy version with the swanky sax will always be the best known.

To tie it together with another sudden recovery of memory, on New Years Eve of 1985 I saw a concert that included both Eddie Money and Gregg Rolie. I wonder if Rolie played that song that night (I can't recall that vividly)? I wanna go back and find out, but I can't go back I know.

For some bonus fun, here's a memorable clip of Beavis & Butthead carping on E. Money's "Shakin" video.

Make Me Smile

Some humorous music videos floating around cyberspace good enough to make a double shot of the funny. The first is from the Jimmy Fallon show doing a perfect imitation of Neil Young singing...The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air theme song. Second up is the viral video of The Muppets performing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody". Both brought a smile on my face and if you haven't seen these before, enjoy!

I Saw It On TV

For today's KRQR Double Shot, I have two songs that I've gotten into through commercial means. These songs were probably hot months or years ago but you know me, a little slow.

First up is The Moldy Peaches song "Anyone Else But You" aka the song that Ellen Page and that Hugh Grant of the teen set (meaning working the befuddled charm angle) Michael Cera sing at the end of the film Juno. I also heard the melody of this song used in a recent commercial I think it was for either a theme park or state tourism. Anyway, the song has a nice trade off of male and female voices like they're having a musical conversation. Pleasant and intriguing stuff.

The second one is The Submarines "You, Me and the Bourgeoisie" aka the AT&T song. Everytime I listen to it I can't help but think "More bars in more places, the new AT&T" which takes some of the fun away but lets face it, without the commercial I wouldn't know this song from dirt. Now that I've heard it, I like it!.

More New Music

Senators, tennis pros and rappers oh my! Having an outburst is the hot new thang. I haven't had much time for posting this week so I'm gonna do an outburst myself with some odds and ends new music I meant to feature last week but forgot about.

William Elliott Whitmore popped on my IPOD from a Paste sampler, I was impressed by this track with its old school feel. "There's Hope For You" makes me feel like I'm at the end of one of those movies where some dramatic thing happened and now we see a montage of different characters acting reflective while doing different things in different places.

This next band I can't criticize too harshly because they're kids. Somebody please think of the children! Won't someone think of the children? I saw this video on tv and spent the whole time wondering if this was a marketing trick or if they're really playing? From seeing this clip on Letterman it looks like they really play their instruments, pretty impressive. The song is just OK. Their name definitely sounds like a marketing construct made for their Disneyfied pop punk - Care Bears On Fire.

One of my favorite 90's bands, The Black Crowes, have a new set out. I'm on the fence on the first single "I Ain't Hiding", I'll have to give it a few more plays on the Pod to get a real opinion on it. It has a dance groove that I'm not entirely sold on though I like that it displays more energy than anything from their previous album.

After coming up with one of the best 70's sounding rockers of the 21st Century, Wolfmother is back (well, at least Andrew Stockdale is back with new band members) to try to do it again. Groovy!

Death Cab For Cutie has a new song for I think Twilight called "Meet Me On The Equinox" which isn't too bad, but what I'm hooked on is a song from their recent The Open Door Ep called "Little Bribes". I like the fuzzed out jauntiness and lyric about slot machines being like one armed robot amputees waving hello. That's clever.

And last, I've gotta give props to Dream Theater's new power ballad "Wither". Easily the best song from the new disc (an album I liked less and less the more I played it which was a bummer 'cause I love that band) they get some nice flick your bic moments packed into this hair metal sounding weeper.

Empty Sky

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you today is 9/11, tonight's twofer music video is going to have that theme (I should note this was inspired after reading the blog Layla's Classic Rock) . The first song is a Bruce Springsteen song called "Into The Fire" which was written about the tragedy and heroism of that horrible day. The second song is Wilco's "Jesus etc" which was written before 9/11 but I didn't hear until years afterward. It has a melancholy tone and lyrics about tall buildings shaking that unwittingly fits the mood of post 9/11 well.